


Major Scary-Monster Catcher

by sheafrotherdon



Series: A Farm in Iowa 'Verse [18]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-19
Updated: 2007-01-19
Packaged: 2017-10-11 22:06:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/117612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheafrotherdon/pseuds/sheafrotherdon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn wakes up in the middle of the night, and soon the rest of the house follows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Major Scary-Monster Catcher

John grumbles as something disturbs his sleep – something worrying, something . . . _Finn_ -like.

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy waykup, waykup Daaaaddy."

"Urrrf," John manages, pushing himself up on his elbows and poking Rodney hard in the side. "Kid." He can just see Finn's tousled hair poking up into his line of sight. "Nnnnnn?"

"Monsterinmaclosit - " Finn babbles, trying to climb up onto the bed, thwarted in his attempts by the fact that one hand is entirely taken up with Elephant, his current favorite soft toy.

John elbows Rodney harder and earns a low groan for his trouble. "Hey puddlejumper, s'okay – " He shifts and kneels up, leans over Rodney and pulls Finn up onto the bed, assaulted by little arms and legs as soon as their owner's able to make them do as he bids. "Shhhh, s'okay. I got you."

"Monsterinmaclosit," Finn repeats, almost choking John with his hold.

John kisses his temple, arms tight around him. "No monsters, promise."

" _Monsterinmaclosit_ ," Finn repeats, a little more wound up.

"Finn, buddy – "

"MONSTERINMACLOSIT."

John winces and scoots to sit up against the headboard, arms full of an agitated little boy.

"S'okay," he soothes, and kicks Rodney in the ribs.

"Mmmph," Rodney manages, finally pulling his head out of the pillow and squinting blearily. "Ow."

"Hi," John says pleasantly – the sort of pleasant that means _you are in so much trouble, you prick_. "Awake?"

"Daddy, monsterinmaclosit, monsterinmaclosit," Finn chants, wriggling out of John's hold and crawling under the covers to plaster himself up against Rodney's side.

"Mahwhat?" Rodney asks, blinking in surprise.

"Monster. In his closet," John offers helpfully, scrubbing at his own face and trying to wake up a little more.

"Monsterinmaclosit," Finn mumbles against Rodney's shoulder.

Rodney frowns and rolls onto his side, the better to stare his son in the face. "There's a monster?"

Finn nods.

"What does he – is it a he?"

Finn nods again.

"What does he look like?"

"Scary," Finn offers. "An' with the gloom."

John arches an eyebrow. "Gloom," he mouths at Rodney, nodding. That's what comes of teaching their son new words over dinner.

Rodney narrows his eyes and gives him a scathing look. "So – " He turns his attention back to Finn. "What did the monster do?"

"Was gonna eat el'phant!"

Rodney makes an astonished face. "No!"

Finn nods emphatically. "Eat 'im all up."

"We can't let that happen."

"No. No eats el'phant."

"No eats – eating elephants, exactly." Rodney chews on his lip as though deep in thought. "You know what?"

Finn shakes his head.

"We're very lucky."

Finn waits, not buying it.

"We have," Rodney continues, "a scary-monster catcher right here in our house."

Finn's eyes get big. "We does?"

Rodney nods solemnly. "Your Baffa is a Major Scary-Monster Catcher. They taught him how when they taught him how to fly planes."

"Baffa!" Finn flips onto his back to look up at John. "Yous catch monsters?"

John wets his lips. "Well I – "

Finn blinks, clutching his toy elephant to his tiny pajama'd chest.

"Sure," John sighs. "I catch 'em all the time. Part of the job. I'll go – catch the scary monster and be right back, huh?" He thinks about how it's damn chilly beyond their bed, and how Rodney's elegantly made sure he's the one who stays swaddled in blankets, and vows to switch the coffee to decaf in the morning, just for kicks.

Finn nods. "Careful Baffa."

John patently does not laugh at his son's warning tone. "Sure thing, buddy." He slips out of bed and pads toward the doorway, pinching Rodney's big toe a little viciously as he goes.

Finn's room is notably monster-less, but John feels honor bound to check under the bed regardless, which is where he finds a sock and three pairs of underpants, plus a book about birds that mysteriously disappeared the Tuesday before last. He fishes around and pulls out a half-eaten peanut-butter-jelly sandwich, and sniffs it to see if it's any good before throwing it in the trash. With the bed duly checked he opens the closet door, and looks at the jumble of shoes, toys, dirty clothes, rocks, newspapers, crayons, and pine cones that constitutes the usual consequence of telling Finn to tidy his room before Mrs. Gunderson comes over. John kicks at a shoe. "So," he says, voice reassuringly loud and perhaps a little military-like. "We meet again, Scary Monster."

He hears a swift intake of childish breath from the next room.

"I'm sorry Mr. Monster, sir, but I'm afraid you can't stay in this closet."

"No eats el'phant!" Finn yells.

"See, we don't have proper monster food here, and we can't let you eat Finn's elephant."

John pauses, as if to give Scary Monster chance to reply.

"That's an excellent idea, Mr. Monster," he continues. "You can leave so long as you promise never to come back. Swear you won't?"

Another pause – John can all but imagine the bated breath one room over.

"No problem, Mr. Monster, sir – I'll just open this window . . . " John crosses and throws up the sash. ". . . you give my best to the other Monsters! Have a nice life!" He closes the window again. "Okay!"

"He gone?" Finn asks.

"Gone!" John calls back. "Hold up one second." He grabs for Giraffe, Wolf, Strange-Unnamed-Mammal, and Squishy Spaceship and arranges them in a row in front of the closet door. "Finn's toys – do you solemnly swear to uphold the law of No Monsters in this bedroom right here?"

There's an appropriate pause in which John rumbles what might have been toy-answers.

"Excellent. Stand easy fellers." John ambles back to his own room. "All done."

Finn sits up in bed, grinning widely. "You got rid of d'monster!"

"Yep," John says, flipping Finn a salute. "All taken care of, 'jumper."

Finn tries to salute back and smacks himself in the eye. "Ow."

Rodney laughs softly and tugs Finn down, the better to kiss his eyebrow. "Okay. That's enough excitement for one night, probably several, good thing the monsters aren't returning. Sleeping now."

"Inna big bed?" Finn asks, rubbing his nose, which is sort of near his eye.

John climbs in the other side. "No kicking."

"S'Daddy with the kicks."

"It is _not_ ," Rodney protests as Finn giggles. "In fact I have the bruise on my ribs to prove that – "

"Night Rodney." John wriggles down amid his pillows with a sigh, one arm thrown above his head.

"Night," Rodney concedes, and John can tell he's smiling.

Finn squirms and oofs and hmmphs and talks to Elephant very seriously about lying still, then sticks his head in John's armpit, fingers wrapped around Rodney's thumb. He yawns fit to deplete the county of oxygen then murmurs, "nights m'daddies an' the stuff."

John snorts softly. "Night, 'jumper."

"Night," Rodney yawns.

"Niiiiight Maja Monster Catcher an' m'Daddy," Finn-as-elephant says, and John can't help himself, laughs low and long like a frazzled Muppet, and it's surely this that convinces all the monsters in Iowa to stay far, far away.


End file.
